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Relationships


The arrival of a baby has an enormous impact on your relationships with your partner, your family and your friends. Finding time for your relationships is not always easy but talking to each other becomes even more important than ever.

 

Sharing the responsibility

My partner has always been very good at sharing the workload of child rearing and helping with housework. We both work, so he knows that he must help out otherwise I couldn't cope. Sometimes, I find that he doesn't see what needs to be done around the house, so I leave him very obvious hints, like leaving the hoover in the middle of the hall, he soon gets the message!

I can't really blame my partner for not helping more with Peter, our son. I know that I think I have a better way with him and that my way works best. By telling him that I don't think he is handling things with Peter very well I have lost a lot of support and help that I know he was prepared to offer. I am trying to just let him get on with it and make mistakes (as I see them!) but I still find it hard.

My husband is the breadwinner and I think that he thinks this means he doesn't have to help, even at the weekends. I don't mind at all being the major carer during the week, including all evenings and night interruptions but it does bug me at the weekend when he stays in bed most of the morning. It causes a lot of resentment. I know he works hard during the week, but so do I and I do expect some support at the weekend. Having him asleep, in the house while I am busy with the kids downstairs adds insult to injury!

Changing Roles

"Nothing changes for men - they just go about their life as before"

"I sometimes feel life a single mum. He goes to work before the children are awake and comes home after they've gone to bed!"

"Why do I feel like I have to ask permission if I want to go out? My husband just goes!"

Grandparents

"My mother always makes out she was the perfect mother. This really winds me up when I am struggling with Tom. I am not saying she wasn't a great mum it just makes me feel a bit of a failure."

"I am so envious of my next door neighbour's daughter. She drops her 2 smaller children off at grandmas almost every day and then goes to work. I wish I had that kind of support it would make going back to work so much easier."

 

SUPPORT LINK

Relate is a registered charity with over 60 years' experience of helping people with their relationships. There are Relate centres across the country offering counselling and parenting skills courses.

Relate
Herbert Gray College
Little Church Street
Rugby
Warwickshire
CV21 3AP

01788 573241

www.relate.org.uk

"A brilliant read!" -
Click here for more details


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